Ryan Swann Capstone

I started writing this spoken word poem, because of a break up I had with a long time girlfriend. I was in the hospital and we broke up and I started out the poem upset about feeling helpless to the situation. Then I started feeling abandoned, however, that quickly turned into resentment. Then once I finished the poem I was able to forget and move on. The final product exists as more of a collage of memories, rather than being something I continue to feel and something I hold onto. After writing this I also figured out that I would rather be writing over any other career choice. The project helped me finally figure out the person I want to be and the job I want to pursue.

I never left you

You never left the mind of mine

Until you left it for Dallas

You were never out of mind

But still never in sight

Sayings held no truth to us

And we only had monthly visits

So I forgot your face

But never your heartbeat

I remember you had a scent about you

And I trapped butterflies in my rib cage

While you glowed a being of Scarlet

But all of that lost in star lit emptiness

All of these memories turn heart to chore

I'm Lazy

And I didn't want to live anymore

So beats drop

Hearts fail

Mails snailed

But I promised you 365 letters

14 years old I stood in CVS for a book of stamps

'Cause there's something more romantic

About a letter

Than a text limited to 100 characters

Loves takes 4

But I have 1000 more to include

I wanted to write to you

That I would travel the billion miles it takes to reach you

Swerve the curves of the road

To intersect with the curves of your body

Teach a love that surpasses a puppy

As if age forces stipulations to emotion depth

Our emotional tolerance

Was not trained to love each other any more than we did

People should know that my trip to the mailbox

Wasn’t about birthday checks or amazon orders

But more for delivery of a message containing more than 140 characters

Forget the candy

I want to interact with you

More than an asthmatic

Wants to fluently interact with air

My air escapes in your being near

People say life is short

If that ends true

Mine will consist of you

We’ll lay together

Us, star, and moon

Pink Floyd in the distance

But the dark side is not present in your presence

I want your presence

Not presents

So I spent Christmas in the hospital

I never left you

You never left the mind of mine

Until you left it for Dallas

You were never out of mind

But still never in sight

Sayings held no truth to us

And we only had monthly visits

So I forgot your face

But never your heartbeat

I remember you had a scent about you

And I trapped butterflies in my rib cage

While you glowed a being of Scarlet

But all of that lost in star lit emptiness

All of these memories turn heart to chore

I'm Lazy

And I didn't want to live anymore

So beats drop

Hearts fail

Mails snailed

You moved to Dallas

So our present is frozen to picture

Future moves in dream

Flows to stream of thought

That’s video

But Dallas burns film

So all that's left is picture present

So I got present over presence

Maybe our love was at age level

Height of our tolerance

But who says that’s low

I was too slow to know what I had

Like Im age 3 and everything belongs to me

I just wanted you

Along with everything else

Now you’re gone

And I want to hate you for that

But I won't bring myself to ruin the memories left of you

And of course the memories stab

Like four year old me running with scissors

Once in awhile I fell

Sure it hurts like hell

But I f---ing bet I don’t do it again